AMAZING CALCULATIONS

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.

Inspiring Quotes

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
 how close they were to success when they gave up.
 ~Thomas Edison~

"Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect
Leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly
Under your belt, that's real power."
 ~Clint Eastwood~

The only difference between stumbling blocks and

 steppingstones is the way in which we use them.

 ~unknown~

Write the bad things that are done to you in sand,

but write the good things that happen to you

 on a piece of marble.

 ~Arabic Proverb~

Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter.

 Try Again. Fail Again. Fail better.

 ~Samuel Beckettï~

A wise soul opens the window to the future

 by closing the doors to the past.

 ~unknown~

Happiness is inward and not outward; and so it does

not depend on what we have, but on what we are.

 ~Henry Van Dyke~

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope

 that I would not have a single bit of talent left and I could say,

 "I used everything that you gave me."

~Erma Bombeck~

Loved Quotes

No one has ever learned fully to know themselves." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


For success, attitude is equally as important as ability." - Harry F. Banks


The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." - Oprah Winfrey


A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence." - Jim Watkins


Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." - Lou Holtz


Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn." - Miguel de Cervantes


Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction." - Al Bernstein


Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible." - St. Francis of Assisi


A man must make his opportunity, as oft as find it." - Francis Bacon


Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." - Benjamin Franklin


To achieve greatness, start where you are, use what you have, do what you can." - Arthur Ashe


To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with." - Mark Twain


A man should make all he can, and give all he can." - Nelson Rockefeller


Respect yourself and others will respect you." - Confucius